he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
foreskin is a definite game changer
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
