So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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