who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
This couple is walking their pig around campus
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
