wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
...so i touched it.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize
