So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
