is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
