You're so nebulous sometimes
I cut my penus on the lid.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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