Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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