I think my fart just growled at me.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
