So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
