well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
