You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Drake has all the answers
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
