I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
