someone get that fucking seahorse.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
