Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
