Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Randomize
