I met the friendliest cop last night
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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