We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
