you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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