Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
