i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Just invented taco cereal.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
