I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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