I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
