Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
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