I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
