So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
