Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Randomize
