God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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