uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
