I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
