So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
