I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Randomize
