She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
This couple is walking their pig around campus
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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