Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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