i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
