I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
