So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize
