I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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