You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
