Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
