why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
