we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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