If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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