Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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