Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Randomize
