new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
I see more hoeing in ur future
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