How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
