That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
