My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
