It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
