He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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